Lost in the Music

I'm freaking myself out here.
I've finally found the groove I've been looking for for the past four years.
I had some good periods when writing my books, but never like this. I've been spitting out two songs a week. I kid you not.
I guess I've just had so much to get out there that it built up, and when I decided to learn guitar it exploded. Not the guitar. My creative reserves.
I'm absorbing myself in the six-string so bad that some people have called me insane. But then they hear my music and they say, "Oh. So that's what you've been up to."
It's beautiful.

Leaving You Behind

Yesterday
I thought I saw your face
Behind a window in Bay Terrace
Where we first met
And I don't know why
I just stopped and sighed
It's been like this every day
In the six months since you left

I dreamt today
Of a different place
As I sat on the rocks at Fort Totten
Where we used to go
And I watched the sun
Sink below the horizon
With a record of us beside me
All the pages I wrote

I think back and remember
My brother's words
How all these things were mine
Before they were yours

So I pick up the leather-bound memories
And throw them into the shifting tide
I'm leaving you behind

This same old town
It holds me down
With all these shadows of you
That make my footsteps slow
So I pack my things
I'm ready to spread my wings
I think I'll be better off
In the city of Chicago

Next time you go down to Fort Totten
To reflect on you and me
When you sit out on the rocks
I hope you see

The hundred pages of memories
I scattered on the shifting tide
To show that I'm leaving you behind

Brotherhood = Infinity

Sorry, all! I know I haven't posted for quite some time. Let's pretend this is my entry for 6/30/08. Keep in mind, I'll be talking from my past self's point of view.

How I got there is a long story, but I spent the past week at my bro's place in Chicago. While he was at work, I would keep Addison entertained (let me make it clear right now that this is the happiest baby I have seen in my life); when he got home, we would walk down to the beach and talk about life and things in general (sound familiar?) and play the Wii back at his apartment.
To sum it up, this past week was the best time of my life. No moment I ever had with Liz even comes close.
Oh, and by the way, here's my favorite quote from the visit:

Jonathan: Are you having fun?
Me: Are you kidding?
Jonathan: Well, are you happy?
Me: Hell yes!
Jonathan: Does it have anything to do with Liz?
Me: No.
Jonathan: Good. You're learning. (He followed this up by blasting the car radio, which was playing "Rainy Monday" by Shiny Toy Guns. We both smiled and rocked out to the music.)

At the visit's end, my brother gave me his hat (pics to come) as a reminder that, no matter what goes wrong or no matter where I am in my life, there's always our brotherhood, and nothing can break that. And as long as we have our brotherhood, we can have weeks like this.
From this day forward, I swear on my name that I shall not be seen without that hat on my head (except maybe in class).
Cheers, bro! Couldn't have had a time like that without you!

"Gravity" by Coldplay

Dear Whoever,

I know you're out there. You might have been made for me; I might have been made for you -- I really don't know anymore. I think I stopped believing somewhere down the line.
I'm a romantic in an age where romance is dead. In places where I should really shine, with people who I should be happy with, I'm only turned down. I'm passed by simply because no one knows what they want these days.
My point is the way I am. I need to be able to share an experience, to share life, to share love. I need a girl who gets me enough to share in my experiences and my life and my love and understand what it all means.
I've begun to think that I'm asking for too much. I've begun to think that I'll never find anyone; that there isn't anyone out there who's made for me or who I was made for. Maybe the things everyone is telling me are lies. I'm just really uncertain at this point. What I've seen has made me doubt almost everything that I've ever believed.
And with me being the way I am, it's hard to take. So if you're out there, and if what I once believed in was true, show me. Make yourself known.

---my message in a bottle

Don't know what to say, really.
I'm tremendously disappointed right now. For a lot of reasons. Well, no, not really. I can't quite pin it down just yet, but I think it might just be a couple of reasons. How many? Well, let's see what I can list.

1. I may have said that I was over certain things, when in fact, I might never be over them. As an example, I'm realizing that I'll probably finish this entry at 1:29 a.m. on the dot, and that saddens me. You either know the significance of that number or you don't.

2. I used to believe in things working out. Honestly, I did. I believed it so much that, at the age of sixteen, I was saving my nickels and dimes with the hope of kicking off a life together with a girl. Take a wild guess who. And take a wild guess why this disappoints me.

3. I had my chance. I had it good. The operative word being had. If I still had that chance, you can bet whatever you want that I would have nailed it and walked away a winner.

That's pretty much it. That's all I can nail down, at least. And there you go. 1:29 a.m. on the dot.

Circle of Solace

I've finally found it. I've found my niche.
I belong among my brothers: Jonathan, Johnny, Matthew and Matt Weiss. Turning to Liz for happiness was stupid of me. Women come and go; they're known for spitting in your face and walking away. But my brothers? I know they'll never turn on me.
They'll always be game for traipsing around through the night and the early morning; they'll always have something to say that'll cheer me up when I'm down. They'll always be the ones who hear what I'm saying and relate to it when no one else can. They understand the feeling called infinity, and like me, they live for it.
So that's it. I'm swearing this girl off.
My brothers are the only company I need.

Project Chess City Council Cup Champions!

In the four-round Project Chess City Council Cup tournament in Brooklyn today, my school's team brought home the gold! We're putting the cup in the trophy case this coming Monday.

My personal record was 3-1, losing only in the final round, and tying for second place with a few other students (Adrian among them). I lost to the same dude who brought down Adrian in the second round -- who was also the only competitor in the High School section of the tournament to reach a record of 4-0. I guess if you're gonna lose to anybody, you should lose to the best guy in the room, right? Right.

If interested, you can check out the games here!