Withdrawal

Hey there. I've been told never to start anything off with an apology, but really, I think this instance calls for it. I was having a funk of a day(not the good kind of funk) the other day, when Danny told me that I had to eventually recognize when people needed breathing space, and that it would be a good idea to give them some now. So when I heard this, after a troubling day, I overreacted, as I am known to do. I lashed out, pretty much at everyone around me, and swore to withdraw from social activities until "Monday-ish" (as I called it when talking to Geanine). For this, I want to apologize. I'm extremely sorry for not handling things with the care and sensitivity that they called for.
But I've spent the past few days in a sort of cocoon, and undergone a slight metamorphosis. I read "The Little Prince"(yes, the children's book; but it is conceptually genius, and I recommend it to anyone who can find an hour of freedom to read it). I listened to old Something Corporate songs(this has always helped me in tough spots). I bought a copy of "Chinese Takeout" by Arthur Nersesian, since I lost my old one, and highlighted all my favorite lines, and listened to the soundtrack I assembled for it last year. I played guitar. I slept and ate and drank coffee.
More importantly: I thought. Hard. And I realized a few things, and I'm feeling more comfortable with my situation now. So again, I wanted to apologize to you folks for how much of a jerk or a pain in the ass I may have seemed this past week. I'm not quite together, but I'm getting there. I just hope that you'll bear with me.

A Hat Called Infinity

My brother gave it to me for a reason.

To the Classics

Facebook Status-Emilio Vélez says: "It's still rock and roll to me."

Geni Leone at 9:37am November 9 via Facebook Mobile

Word. But I wonder what these young snipper wappers are callin it? Lolz

Emilio Vélez at 9:38am November 9

hot funk, cool punk, maybe even old junk -- still rock and roll to me. :D

Geni Leone at 9:39am November 9 via Facebook Mobile

Lmfao =P

I Didn't Understand

I didn't really know her. I guess that's what did this. I didn't understand.
My brother always tells me the truth at times like this, when everyone else would just tell me what I want to hear. It's good to know. Kind of hard to take, but necessary.
The thing is, I do what I do to fill the void left by my parents. I mean, your parents' marriage is your first impression of what a relationship should be, and since I grew up around a lot of conflict and distance, I try desperately to prove to myself that it isn't always like that. Every new girl I get involved with seems to have had trouble with guys who were nothing but assholes; like my brother, I have a bit of a "superhero complex"(as he put it), and so I feel the need to help her and prove to her, as well as to myself, that love can work and last.
And I keep getting proven wrong. I really don't want to be doomed to follow in my parents' footsteps and live dogged by failed and broken relationships, but at a more and more rapid clip lately it's been hitting me that maybe it's unavoidable. Maybe I'm meant to be alone. I've said it before, but never has it seemed truer.
I would give everything to not have to continue this way; to find something and be able to hold onto it.
Save me from this. Somebody.

Awesome Sauce:

n. A delicious edible made of pure awesomeness which immediately provokes euphoria; anything which is compared to this. i.e., That song is awesome sauce.

Good times, good times.

Double Up

Went to Outback with Geanine and Danny and Mary tonight.
First of all, we had the coolest waiter ever. He had "Veritas" on his hand (a Boondock Saints reference for those of you who didn't know -- amazing movie). We all wrote him a note on a $10 bill and signed it.
Second of all, paper mache just became exciting.
Third of all, I AM FREE.
Life is good.

They say a tingle running down your spine is indicative of fear. What then, is suggested by the type that runs up your spine? You know: It comes up, hits the back of your neck, and then just shoots out in all directions until your whole body is pins and needles for a second, and then the cycle starts all over again.
I don't know what it is. But I kind of liked it. And now I'm kind of addicted to cinnamon gum.
Thanks, Geni.