Last Night...

I just got off the phone with my bro. When it started out, I was depressed out of my mind, listening to "Asleep" by the Smiths and "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap. When he heard "Asleep" over the phone, he immediately asked me:
"Are you listening to 'Asleep'?"
"Yeah."
"Dude, you've gotta stop. Because if you kill yourself, I will kick your ass."
"How?"
"I would kick your dead ass so hard you'd feel it in the afterlife!"
I paused for about ten seconds...total silence. "Okay."
I guess I was in the bad place I was because, about half an hour earlier, I had been talking with my friend John, and he told me that Liz wanted to have nothing to do with me. I guess that since I had been holding onto our friendship in the hope of eventually getting back together with her, and now that she was cutting even that off, I was only just then feeling the full brunt of our breakup.
So, back to my talk with Jonathan. It started off with him asking me if I was alright. I just said, "I've got a problem with moving on."
"How so?" he had said. "What is it that you're holding onto? I mean, just having an outlet for affection or not being alone, or..."
"Yes. Every last bit of it."
"Well, that has nothing to do with her." And so he told me that really, it wasn't Liz that I have to get over, so much as just being alone. And how what she was doing had nothing to say about me, but it said a lot about her. But I'd heard that before.
He told me about how, while I had been giving Liz everything I could possibly give, I neglected myself. I didn't speak my own mind; I didn't come out of my shell. But I'd heard that before. And I said it.
So he told me that I had to think a lot about what I want out of a relationship, as in: do I want a girl who's artistic and introverted? Or all social-butterfly and musical? Or someone deep and receptive to all my ideas and views? Or...you get the point.
And so, where I started out depressed as hell and not knowing how to move on in any way, shape or form, I wound up standing from my bed, pacing and saying this:
"You know what's keeping me from moving on? It's this damn circle, my friends. I mean, they're great and all, it's just...nobody gets the concept of infinity or appreciates it in the manner that I do. I've tried spreading the perks of being a wallflower around like crazy, but nobody gets it, you know? I'll ask what their favorite part is, and they'll say, 'That part where he got high,' or something about his mid-plot epiphany, but nothing about that one damned sentence: 'I feel infinite.' I had Melissa, who understood it perfectly, but she moved to another school. So really, you're the only friend I have who's Charlie-esque enough to get me, and I have nobody over here. I guess, then -- well, I don't guess, I know -- that to move on, I've just got to find people like that, who get the infinity concept, who'll take that IIOII on their shoulder."
To which he replied: "Just be who you are. And if you are who you are, then those other people will find you; you don't have to go on a crazy hunt. And don't ever doubt who you are, even if other people don't get it. You're the man, okay? And here's how you know you're the man: Charlie would hang out with you. Bye."
Click.