We are a beautiful letdown.

Well...it would seem I'm on my own again. Kit bowed out.
It was the kind of breakup that sneaks up on you: brief, quiet, without incident -- the kind of breakup that stings all the worse for its sudden silence, but demands that you hide the pain away and soldier on.
I really don't want to let something like this just end. It means too much to me; I want to fight tooth and nail to hold onto that happiness, that sense of belonging. And yet, I simply don't have the option. All I can do is move forward. Ignore her absence. Take the pain and suppress it.
All I can do is pick up where I left off on February 2nd...without her.

"Dreaming With A Broken Heart" by John Mayer:
When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll out of bed and down onto your knees
And for a moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering, "Was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?"
No, she's not --
'Cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
Then all at once, you have to say goodbye
Wondering, "Could you stay, my love?
Will you wake up by my side?"
No, she can't --
'Cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...

Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
...And would you get them, if I did?
No, you won't --
'Cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part...

I realize, already, that I can't change the state of things -- and that, even if I could, I'd rather avoid making matters worse by forcing anything.
So, the present has its shortcomings, and that's fine, because I won't let it stop me from facing tomorrow. I've got books to write; tunes to play; songs to sing; and a world full of challenges, just waiting for me -- I plan to hit it at full throttle. So what if I'm flying solo?

"The Beautiful Letdown" by Switchfoot:
It was a beautiful letdown
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone
Unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful letdown
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never do

In a world full of bitter pain
And bitter doubts
I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in
Until I found out:

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I will carry a cross with a song
Where I don't belong
I don't belong

It was a beautiful letdown
When you found me here
Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon
I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful letdown
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free

We're still chasing our tails
In the rising sun
And our dark water planet's still spinning in a race
Where no one wins, and no one's won.

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I will carry a cross with a song
Where I don't belong (I don't belong)

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I'm going to set sight
And set sail for the kingdom come.
Your kingdom come.
Won't you let me down!
Let my foolish pride forever let me down.

Easy living, you're not much like the name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Would you please take me off your list?
Easy living, please come on and let me down.

We are a beautiful letdown
Painfully uncool
The church of the drop-outs, the losers,
The sinners, the failures, and the fools.
What a beautiful letdown
Are we salt in the wound?
Let us sing one true tune:

I don't belong here (I don't belong) x 6
I don't belong

Won't you let me down?
Come on and let me down.
You always let me down.
So glad that I'm let down.
Come on and let me down,
'Cause I don't belong here.
Please, won't you let me down?