Down, but not out.

I'm going to try and walk out of this one with a smile. After all, it's only been a week.
I guess those circumstances I was talking about worked against a relationship more than I initially suspected. At least we didn't go far enough to make friendship impossible...or maybe I did. Only time will tell.
To put it bluntly (because sometimes nothing else really cuts it) I fucking hate God's habit of toying with me. On the other hand, I guess this gives me more time to work on my book. But is that happiness really fair compensation?
I think this calls for guitar more than anything.

"I miss you."

Oh, the power in those words.
As I write this, I'm listening to "Princes and Damsels" by Jake Goodman (yes, I'm still listening to that guy) and talking with my cousin Kate on another 'net tab.
My first words: "hey there."
Hers: "i miss you."
After a few moments of silence, she said, "let's see each other, really soon."
I don't know why. Those words just hit me a bit hard. See, my girlfriend and I have both had it a bit rough in the romance department, and both of us are done with being young and reckless and free-falling (enjoyable as it may be). So despite all the promising beginnings, we're taking it real slow -- treading carefully, so to speak -- not that that's a bad thing. It just...lacks the thrill I'm used to.
I feel like if I was actually able to just sit down and talk with her and hang out away from the class desks more often, then things might get where I feel they could be, but everything's stopping that from happening.
I just wish I could hear Silvia say something like "let's see each other, really soon." I know she would, given the chance. But our increasingly busy lives are conspiring against us.
So here I sit at the computer, with a dead cell phone in my hand. It died as I was leaving Silvia a voice mail. Right before I said the words "I miss you."

And We Have Liftoff

I can't quite describe it. But then again, it's one of those things that defies description; words may paint a picture, but no amount can fully do it justice.
It's like water. No cage of words can capture it; no net, no matter how carefully woven, can pull it in for inspection; and just when you think you have the answer in your hands, it slips away, leaving you only with droplets and the strangest sense of futility.
It's times like this, when you're falling and flying at the same time, that words utterly fail. Love is one of the few beautiful things that make this ugly world tolerable.
I'm in the clouds. We have liftoff.